Dysphoria

BY Ellen van Neervan

liberate love
into dust
shifting, self-gearing
love them all
credit me
do what makes you happy she says
but doesn’t mean it in the way my mum says
the desire to take clothes off
to take them off but also take
off another layer underneath
peel away those expectations
get closer to my truth
I love my mind but I haven’t come to terms with this
I catch you in an embrace with another part of me
looking backwards
into dust